Low Energy and Motivation as a Parent: Why You Feel Flat and What Can Help

It's 7.30pm. The kids are finally in bed and you'd planned a walk or a call with a friend. Instead, you're on the couch, too tired to decide what to watch. If this sounds familiar, you're far from alone, and there are usually understandable reasons behind it.

Why parents run on empty

Fatigue is common, and it affects how parenting feels

In a survey of 1,022 Australian mothers of children aged 0 to 6, more fatigue was linked with more parenting stress, which in turn was linked with lower confidence and satisfaction in parenting (Dunning and Giallo, 2012). Tiredness isn't a personal failing. It can quietly shape how the whole day feels.

Broken or short sleep adds up

Adults are advised to get seven or more hours of sleep a night on a regular basis to support good health (Watson et al., 2015). Night wakes, early starts and late-night "me time" can easily push parents below that, night after night.

Burnout has many causes, not just one

A systematic review linked parental burnout with many factors, including number of children, hours spent caring for them, children's behaviour, relationship satisfaction, social support, perfectionism and self-compassion (Ren et al., 2024). How you feel is shaped by your whole situation, not just willpower.

Moving less than you'd like

Exercise is often the first thing to go. Yet a meta-analysis of 81 randomised trials found regular exercise modestly reduced fatigue and improved feelings of energy, with moderate intensity showing the most consistent benefits (Wender, Manninen and O'Connor, 2022).

Everyday habits that can help

• Protect a regular wake-up time where you can, and aim to give yourself a real chance at seven or more hours in bed.
• Get outside early in the day. A short walk with the pram or the dog counts.
• Move in small doses. A brisk 15-minute walk or a backyard game with the kids adds up.
• Mix it up. Combining strength exercise with walking or cycling may help energy more than cardio alone (Wender, Manninen and O'Connor, 2022).
• Share the load. Swap school runs, accept offers of help and share night duties where possible.
• Ease up on perfection. Be as kind to yourself as you would be to a friend.
• Watch the afternoon coffee if it's creeping later.

What popular health podcasters say

Neuroscientist and podcaster Andrew Huberman suggests getting outdoor daylight within the first hour of waking and again in the late afternoon, waking at a consistent time each day, keeping the bedroom cool and dark, and avoiding caffeine in the 8 to 10 hours before bed (Huberman, 2021). These tips sit well alongside the advice that adults need regular, sufficient sleep (Watson et al., 2015). Podcasts can be a great source of ideas, but they're no substitute for advice tailored to you.

When to see a professional

See your GP if you notice:

• Exhaustion lasting more than a few weeks despite decent sleep
• Unexplained weight change, fevers or night sweats
• Breathlessness, a racing heart or dizziness
• Very heavy periods or unusual paleness
• Loud snoring or gasping during sleep
• Ongoing low mood or feeling you can't cope

If you ever feel unsafe, call 000 or go to your nearest emergency department.

Frequently asked questions

Is it normal to feel tired all the time as a parent?

It's very common, especially with young children (Dunning and Giallo, 2012). But if tiredness is ongoing or worsening, see your GP to rule out other causes.

What is parental burnout?

Parental burnout describes a state of exhaustion linked to the demands of parenting. Research suggests it's connected to many factors, including workload, support and relationships, rather than any one thing (Ren et al., 2024).

Will exercise really help if I'm already exhausted?

Often, yes. Regular exercise modestly reduced fatigue and boosted energy across many trials (Wender, Manninen and O'Connor, 2022). Start small, and check with your GP first if you have a health condition.

References

Dunning, M. and Giallo, R. (2012) 'Fatigue, parenting stress, self-efficacy and satisfaction in mothers of infants and young children', Journal of Reproductive and Infant Psychology, 30(2), pp. 145–159. doi: 10.1080/02646838.2012.693910. Available at: https://doi.org/10.1080/02646838.2012.693910

Huberman, A. (2021) Toolkit for Sleep. Huberman Lab Neural Network newsletter, 20 September 2021. Available at: https://www.hubermanlab.com/newsletter/toolkit-for-sleep

Ren, X. et al. (2024) 'A systematic review of parental burnout and related factors among parents', BMC Public Health, 24(1), p. 376. doi: 10.1186/s12889-024-17829-y. Available at: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/38317118/

Watson, N.F. et al. (2015) 'Recommended amount of sleep for a healthy adult: a joint consensus statement of the American Academy of Sleep Medicine and Sleep Research Society', Sleep, 38(6), pp. 843–844. doi: 10.5665/sleep.4716. Available at: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/26039963/

Wender, C.L.A., Manninen, M. and O'Connor, P.J. (2022) 'The effect of chronic exercise on energy and fatigue states: a systematic review and meta-analysis of randomized trials', Frontiers in Psychology, 13, p. 907637. doi: 10.3389/fpsyg.2022.907637. Available at: https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2022.907637

Looking for personalised support?

GL Health Concierge can coordinate a consultation with independent, registered healthcare practitioners who can assess your individual needs. Speak with our concierge team.

This article is general information only and is not medical advice. Always speak with a qualified health professional about your individual needs. GL Health Concierge is a coordination service and does not provide, supply, or grant access to any therapeutic good.